On Tuesday (Feb. 4), Toni Braxton and Kenneth “Babyface” Edmonds released their duet album, Love, Marriage & Divorce. The 11-track set reflects on the love stories of both Braxton and Edmonds — from the good to bad and the in-between.
While the album mirrored the turmoil from their own romantic relationships, it’s almost certain the songs could be parallel to one’s love life.
Music has the ability to act as an interpreter that reveals underlying issues in the lives of its listener, who can’t express his or her shortcomings verbally to themselves.
Each song on Braxton and Edmonds’ new album uncovers a valuable lesson in love that could shed light on one’s current love state and help ease the troubles in the relationship.
If you can’t afford a relationship counselor, you’re in luck. We’ve listed five love lessons from five standout tracks that can help bring peace back to your relationship — whether you’re together or not.
Lesson 1: Listen and pay attention the first time your partner tells you something’s wrong.
The number one question you plead to your partner when they’re walking out the door is “where did we go wrong?” But the better question is “why weren’t you listening when they were trying to explain what was wrong?”
A key part of a relationship is listening to your partner when they’re expressing their concerns on the current state of the relationship. Look at listening like going for a checkup and finding out you have a serious illness. The doctor tells you, “Luckily, you caught in the early stages or it could have been a lot worse.”
If you hear the problem early, work it out then, you won’t have to worry about hearing those haunting five words (where did we go wrong?) later. You’ll have already resolved the situation at its earliest stage before it became untreatable.
“Where Did We Go Wrong?”
Lesson 2: After an argument, nothing beats makeup sex.
Being intimate with your significant other is one of the many pleasures of a relationship. However, that pleasure can be eliminated momentarily when an argument arises. Not because either of you isn’t interested in being physical but it’s used as a punishment for making each other upset.
During the time you’re aren’t pleased with how your love life is going, sexual tension starts to build up from not only the relationship hiccup that still isn’t resolved but due to the lack of intimacy too. But once the relationship mishap is cleared up, that first kiss afterward that says “I’m sorry,” begins the next step to making things right again.
With all the tension still running high, it makes the bedroom a venting session to release all the frustration still present, which makes the lovemaking incredible. It’s more intense, more passionate and more verbal.
Lesson 3: A reconciliation must be mutual.
There’s nothing like being the only one in love in a two-person relationship.
Many times people think after an issue is resolved, the relationship has been repaired. While this could be the truth, it’s not always the case, especially if the decision wasn’t shared by one another. You might feel like everything is cool and the relationship is headed in the right direction but your partner might be headed in another direction — with someone else.
To make sure you both are on one accord, a reconciliation shouldn’t be done through a phone call, text message, via Twitter or Facebook. It should be done in person. That’s right, face to face. This method allows you to see their body language and hear the actual tone of their responses — listening for pauses, uncertainty and lack of emotion. You’ll also see if your partner engages in eye contact with their so-called “truthful” responses.
Then you can make a decision based on your initial feelings and those actions presented during the conversation.
If it presents itself as an unhealthy resolution, you will know saying “I want to work it out again,” isn’t a wise decision to make.
Lesson 4: Accept that your ex may move on faster than you expect.
Once a relationship goes sour and you and your ex have gone separate ways, it’s not uncommon that you won’t bump into each other from time to time. Don’t be surprised if they have a new boo on their arm too.
Also, don’t think they were still supposed to be dwelling over you. Everyone wants someone to call their own and there isn’t anything wrong with that. However, when you run into your ex, there are two approaches you can choose: speak or not speak.
If you choose to speak, keep it brief. For example, “Hey, how are you?” Don’t call attention to their new boo by asking “And who is this?” You wait for them to be introduced before speaking. Once they’re introduced, keep it brief again: “Nice to meet you.” Once that’s over, you return to whatever you were doing.
The biggest mistake you can make is calling or texting them afterward. Don’t be pressed. Accept that the relationship is over and hope one day you can experience happiness with someone as well.
You can also choose not to speak, which could make you seem bitter and salty. But, if you are uncomfortable with introducing yourself to their new potential, then keep it moving.
Lesson 5: Realize love isn’t easy. Stay strong, stay committed.
If love came with an instruction manual, it probably would ease the worries in the hearts of lovers. Yet, it’s not that simple.
In most cases, nothing in life comes easy. That’s right, relationships aren’t exempt from life’s many problems. In a relationship, problems can arise from any direction — whether it’s inside or outside the home. Each problem comes with its own strain on you, which sometimes makes its way into your love life.
While it’s easy to take your frustrations out on your significant other, you shouldn’t. It’s OK to bring home your problems to your lover but bring them home in a way that isn’t disrespectful or hurtful to your partner. Talk out things calmly because, at the end of the day, they’re your support system.
The trials and tribulations of love can be easy to walk away from. However, if the love is worth keeping and fighting for, stand your ground and weather the storm. Don’t let just any ol’ problem tear apart the foundation built between the both of you.