RAAHiiM once feared the unknown; now he welcomes it. “I have gotten comfortable with a lack of [certainty],” he says. “I don’t need all the answers to live a good life or enjoy myself.” The Toronto-born singer is reflecting on his new album PRAY FOR ME, released Feb. 6, via MNRK Records.
RAAHiiM is no stranger to exploring uncertainty in his music, but over the years, he’s learned to react to it differently. His 2017 debut EP, Fear of the Unknown, showed this shift. Beyond exploring themes of love and life, the project was a meditation on fear, which he called “a dictator” that shapes the choices we make.
He told Vice, “The lack of knowledge we have about tomorrow and the people around us creates such uncertainty… I’ve become quite familiar with that uncertainty and for most of the creation process, I ignored it.” Even then, as he entered his 20s, RAAHiiM knew that “focusing on the temporary to subside whatever I was feeling” could only carry him so far.
As RAAHiiM bids farewell to his 20s, the 29-year-old artist contemplates the last decade of his life while anticipating a new chapter. PRAY FOR ME marks the end of an era; it’s the final installment of his album trilogy that began with 2020’s ii KNEW BETTER, followed by 2023’s BUT If iiM HONEST.
“PRAY FOR ME is very much a ‘forgive me for the mistakes I’ve made and the mistakes that I may make moving forward’ kind of thing,” he explains.
How are you feeling right in this moment?
I’m definitely going through a lot of changes. Life is bringing a lot of things to the surface internally and externally. But I’m here. I’m happy. I’m healthy. It’s a good time to be alive.
Last year, you posted on Instagram, “I left Toronto a little over a year ago to continue this dream of mine… As I finish this album and continue the rest of tour, I can’t help but realize I miss Toronto.” Where did you relocate to?
I moved to Los Angeles. I’ve lived here for two years now. I love it. The natives are amazing people, but I do miss the comfort of home. There’s nothing like Toronto, especially in the summertime. Not to say I’ve outgrown the city, but you realize you might get stuck in a certain identity of who you could be if you stay in one place. I want to explore myself more and the world around me and see what happens.
What was your initial reaction when you moved to LA?
I didn’t like it at first. I grew to love it.
What didn’t you like about it?
I felt super detached from it. It felt more like an office than a home because I was here for work. But I started doing more things that I enjoy. I’m big on nature, so I started exploring the outdoors. Going on runs and trails helped with feeling more at home.
When you’re outdoors, do you shut everything off, or does that environment inspire creativity?
I usually journal when I’m walking. My Notes app is me talking to myself for hours on end. Sometimes it’s about music. Sometimes it’s about relationships, anxieties, or where I think life is going.
Your NiiGHTBEFORESERVICE EP and PRAY FOR ME album titles feel connected. Were they in your mind, or did I connect dots that aren’t there?
No, everything’s very intentional. I had this album planned around 2021. When I did ii KNEW BETTER, I knew I was about to go through a weird, transformative time in life. I was being very early 20s, very introspective and overanalyzing everything. ii KNEW BETTER was this feeling of guilt. I felt guilty about how I handled certain relationships in my teens and early 20s. BUT IF iiM HONEST was the confession of where I was at. PRAY FOR ME is the balance between who you were, who you are now and who you’re becoming. I wanted to stay with that church boy theme. This is very relevant to my own lived experience. I think R&B at its core is very churchy, so I wanted to find a way to merge the two worlds thematically.
How does your foundation and church play into who you are as an artist and the type of music that you make?
That was the training ground where I learned everything. My entire family is musicians. I was a piano kid. I was always singing. There are certain songs like “Spin the Block,” if somebody grew up in the church and they listened to it, [they would know] I took that from “His Eyes on the Sparrow.” That’s a lot of my songs; I will pull small things from church growing up.
Can you talk more about your Jamaican heritage and how it informs your music?
Oh yeah, heavy. My whole family came from the West Indies. Most of my summers were spent at my uncle’s house. My dad would come with these two really big turntables and would play records from the ’60s, ’70s, all the way up to the early 2000s. I think it gave me a sense of what my taste is. If you listen to a lot of my music, there will always be some kind of dancehall drop in it. I like putting it on the R&B because it’s a complete juxtaposition. It always does something for me.
Your Instagram bio says “SiiN&SALVATiiON.” Why is that?
I’ve seen both sides of things. I’ve seen the extremes of the church and the extremes of outside. I have a journal where I write little excerpts. One was like, “I know saints; I know sinners. I’m somewhere in the middle.” My disposition in life has always been teetering on the scale, not knowing which side of the fence to stand on.
About your song “Just Like Me,” you said it’s “me bridging worlds between my wants and the reality of my life right now.” In what ways have your wants and reality changed since you first started working on this song?
I have a real desire to be married and settle down. I’m very much a lover boy. I want the traditional house and kids. But I don’t think my life calls for that right now. Since making that song, I kind of settled on, “That’s not where life will leave me — not right now, at least.” That whole album is like that awkward, “This is what I want, but either I’m not mature enough for it, or I don’t understand it, or I don’t feel capable enough, or you’re not ready.” Those are kind of the main talking points for a lot of the records. Since making that song, I’ve accepted where I’m at.
And where are you now?
Enjoying life for what it is. I don’t have a deep yearning for anything other than what God has planned for me. Mind you, I say that, and I’m not really a religious person at all, but I do accept what the world gives me.
Let’s dive into PRAY FOR ME some more. You open with “On God.” Where did that song come from?
I made that on the phone with a girl. She grew up in the same environment that I did. We were talking about our childhood. She was like, “You’ve never written a love song about me. Every song you’ve written about me is a breakup song.” And so I sat with it like, “I don’t really write a lot of love songs.” So I wrote it from the perspective of a real yearner. It was fun. That song probably took me 15 minutes to make.
“96 Camry” embodies that sense of yearning. What’s the story behind that one?
I came to the conclusion that I didn’t really have a good example of a solid relationship. While sitting with myself, I questioned, “What does love look like? What examples of that do I have?” My dad had a car he was obsessed with. He wouldn’t give it up. He was so possessive over it. My grandmother has devoted her entire life to her Bible. I’ve never seen a devotion like that ever. My mom won’t put cigarettes down. Those were the examples of love I could think of. It was this devotion to things, but never to people. I wanted to write about it.
Right now, do you feel more devoted to people or your craft?
Right now, I’m hyper-fixated on self. I want to learn more about myself. I want to learn how to be the highest version of myself.
What did you discover about yourself when making this album?
I’m really f*****g good at this music sh*t. This album was a challenge to myself. I took on the majority of the production and sequencing. People would send me beats, and I would say, “Send the stems,” and I would move sh*t around. It definitely upped my skill level and my understanding. But on a more serious note, I want to have more fun. It’s cool to be someone who spends a lot of time trying to learn yourself, but learning comes from a lived experience.
Speaking of fun, there are upbeat songs on the album like “Save a Moment.”
“Save a Moment” was me being like, “I just want to enjoy myself. I don’t want to spend too much time living in my head or living in the past.” I’ve done enough of that. I devoted most of my 20s to that.
Which part of making PRAY FOR ME was the most fun for you?
The pastor voice that I did because it was goofy and the production of everything. I like producing. I actually prefer it over writing. So I had a lot of fun toying with the beats.
Why do you prefer producing over writing?
It’s a break. I feel a lot more freedom. Sometimes when you write, your brain might spend a little too much time worrying about the right thing to say. With production, I think about what feels good, and I have fun with that.
Earlier, you mentioned the album trilogy was conceptualized a few years ago. Have you thought about the next phase?
I started it already. The next one is very different from this album. [PRAY FOR ME] is the end of an era. It was fun. I had a great time, but I’m definitely in the space of renewal and rejuvenation.
What feeling were you chasing with this album?
I would say the anxiety of your 20s; that’s what the whole album is about. Your 20s are when real responsibilities hit you. You’re an adult, but not really. You don’t really know your left foot from your right foot. And everybody handles it differently. Some people put a vice grip on their life and live so rigid and then they hit their 30s and they’re like, “I don’t know who I am.” Other people don’t do that at all and go crazy, and then they hit their 30s and they’re like, “I got to get my sh*t together.” This entire album was me going through the anxiety that I experienced in my 20s, from wanting to be in love to not really knowing who I am and who my lover is because she’s also lost.
What’s next for you?
I’m working on the deluxe right now. I want it to feel like “I remember when this came out.” I want people to be a little bit attached to that moment and that feeling.
Stream RAAHiiM’s new album PRAY FOR ME here.
